So last week, my post on circumcision got a lot of response and I was thinking about posting about another controversial topic... but decided to save that for next week ;) Today instead I wanted to put out here my fears about our, soon to be, newest arrival. I am not worried about labor or delivery like I was with KJ... but my biggest fear is the transition between having one child and now having two. For almost 5 years I have dedicated my life to KJ's health, development, education, wellbeing, activities, wants/needs, etc. And now for the first time ever I'm going to have to divide my attention to focus on child number two.
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| KJ with brother ET |
I have no ideas or advice on this subject since I still only have the one child (at least for today). So to help me cope with this fear I decided to write out the things that I'm afraid of.
- Being able to balance the needs of two kids
- Keeping KJ active in all her activities while toting around a newborn
- Recovery time after birth while being mom to KJ
- Continuing homeschooling with the added demands
- Being emotionally drained and sleep deprived
- KJ's new role as big sister and getting her involved with the baby with out making her grow up too fast
- Giving both kids their special time with both parents
- Time management and change in lifestyle with a newborn
These are things that I can think of off the top of my head... and I guess most mothers go through this kind of thought process when bringing a new life into the family, and change the family dynamics. I had some great advise from my BFF about my concerns. She stated that 'when it comes time... instinct will take over and I'll do what needs to be done and it will all be okay'. I am really trying to focus on that wisdom. I remember being afraid of being a good mom to KJ, and day by day I seem to do alright by her. So I guess mother instinct will take over and somehow day by day the transition will happen. I know KJ will be an amazing big sister, and I'm excited to see my family continue to grow. I figure if Mrs. Dugger can do it, so can I :)
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
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| KJ and her cousin :) |
Not having any children yet I can't give advice but I'm great at encouragement! I think that you will do fantastic with the transition from 1 child to 2. I have see it before and I think some of the key things are, as you mentioned, to not make K.J. grow up to fast, and to ensure that each child has their own time with you. I have seen where mothers don't take time out from the infant and the older child must have what was previously 'their time' shared. I think that by being cognizant of this you will make a conscious effort to give each of the time- I also think Diep wil be a great help with that. In regards to not making K.J. grow up too fast--I have seen where the mom will make comments like 'well, you would take care of (the baby) if I ...' to their 7 yr old. I don't see you doing that! I, in knowing you and seeing you interact with K.J., don't think you would ever even THINK of doing that! The important thing though is to make sure K.J. still does the kid stuff! Make sure that her whole life doesn't revolve around E.T. and I think she will continue to be a great little girl. Oh, and you've done more than 'alright' as you say!
ReplyDeleteOh Meghan, I wish you were still down here. I would give you a big hug and let you know it will be alright. My oldest, Ashley was just barely 2 when I had Brad. She was a big help even then. Yes, you will have days that it seems like all you are doing is focusing on Lil' guy and not KJ. And the sleep deprivation will be there. HOWEVER, you have Diep, and KJ for support. KJ is going to love her baby brother and as nurturing as she is (thanks to her mom being awesome)she will be wanting to help you a lot. Let Diep do the cooking and remember the most important thing: when baby sleeps, mommy rests too. You will find that God gave most moms this wonderful ability to love our children no matter how many we have. You will find the you love KJ differently than your son but equally too. Just relax, let go, and let God guide you down this awesome next chapter. <3
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